21.
The Art of Trust
Most of us would like to believe we are experts at reading people. Some people have this gift, however, more often than not, it is a challenge to truly know who a person really is until after you spend a lot of time with them.
I used to believe that all people had altruistic intentions. Even if they did something against another human being, I thought they were merely masking what the real hurt was on the inside. This may still be the case, however through many years of studying relationships, I have discovered there are people who outwardly seem altruistic but inwardly crave power, control, and recognition at the expense of others. This makes it very hard to know who to trust.
There are two old proverbs that I choose to live by (among others), “Choose a good name over great riches” (Prov. 22:1), and “Bad company corrupts good character” (1 Cor. 15:33). In other words,
- People are not always what they seem.
- Be careful who you affiliate yourself with.
If people are not always what they seem, then how do you develop trust in a relationship? We had better figure it out because one of the key building blocks of a healthy relationship is trust. Without it, there can be no authentic relationship.
Begin with Trustworthiness
Have you ever had someone say to you, “Do you trust me?” Your answer to this question may be in the form of another question,
“To do what?”
Instead of blindly saying, “Yes, of course, I trust you,” we would do well not to answer their question without first understanding the focus of it.